Darren McFadden

Darren McFadden is one of the top running back prospects, but he's also starting his own brood. Fathering kids doesn't really have that much of an impact on your ability to run the football. But this shows bad decisions. Like people thought I was leaving M*A*S*H because I knocked up Farrah. That just wasn't the case. Oh, I nailed her a few times and Lee Majors totally wanted to kick my ass. But I made sure to be safe. It was the 70s, sure, but you can't just knock up all of these young Hollywood types looking to get their claws into me.

McFadden should be that smart. Thumbs down.

The Hater Nation

I'm guesting over at The Hater Nation on Thursday. I've never heard of it, either. But I thought I would give it a shot, but this looks like one of my biggest blunders yet.

Kobe Bryant

I feel you Kobe. It sucks being part of an ensemble cast sometimes be it an NBA dynasty or a hit television show. You chose to go out on your own to do your own thing. I can’t blame you for that. You can’t cry about it now. When I left M*A*S*H they killed off my mother loving character. I had no way to go back. Neither do you. So quit your bitching and play some basketball. I have some floor seats I like to scalp for blow.

Shaq

Holy shit this guy is awful on television. Who put a microphone in front of this guy? I hate when these assholes act like monotone dicks during their NBA career, but want to get into TV afterwards. After watching him lay huge monkey stinks in the movie Blue Chips, this guy needs to stay the hell away from a mic.

Billy Gillispie

Gillespie was mere moments from taking his team to the Final Four. That is the kind of season that is celebrated in College Station, but that will get you fired in Lexington. Gillespie would have likely had his name emblazed on the floor at Texas A&M, but his career at Kentucky will likely find him retreating to some garden spot like South Florida or Nebraska. The only way this job works out well for Billy is if he gets to tap that sweet, sweet ass of Ashley Judd.

He will come to regret this job.

Tony Dungy

Tony Dungy is a man of principle, as long as people agree with him. Dungy noted in his key-note address to some fundamentalist church group that gays do not deserve the same equal rights as the rest of the world. Dungy hates freedom and he is also a tremendous hypocrite, seeing that he doesn't seem to mind that Peyton Manning is married.

I give this career move a solid thumbs down in terms of NFL coaching, but he will have a solid thumbs up if he ever wants to run for office as a Republican.

Tom Brady

I never had a problem with Tommy Boy when he wanted to upgrade from a worn-out actress to a super model. I never had a problem when he wanted to knock that actress up, either. But why would Tommy Boy want to ruin that sweet, sweet ass you see before you by planting his demon seed? Bad boy, Tommy.

Who do you think you are, Steve Garvey?

I give this career choice a solid thumbs down.

The New York Knicks

Some might say that Isiah Thomas has made a lot of bad career choices. But the guy who hired Thomas made the biggest blunder. Look, if I knew that M*A*S*H was going to go on for 100 years, I never would have left the show. But I didn't have that forsight. These douche bags that hired Thomas knew that he sucked.

That, my friends, is a bad career choice.

Lovie Smith

Sticking with Rex Grossman is not going to help your long term career decisions. You will likely be out of a job if you stick with this guy too much longer. The sooner you cut the cord, the better you will be.